i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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