Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
