My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
