i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
