My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
