Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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