I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
im having a threesome with these popsicles
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
