people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
