your thong is hanging out like whoa
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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