i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
