i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
