You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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