he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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