i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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