you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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