Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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