i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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