Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
