she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
