Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We talked him into tasing himself.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The air was thick with penises
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
