Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
