If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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