Whod you bang
That's intense
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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