For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
