She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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