Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
