FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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