Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
