Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
