just tell him i said nine months
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
