yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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