I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
