as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
