I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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