i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
