susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
