Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
