You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my phone needs a breathalizer
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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