I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
