he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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