now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
