everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
