i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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