it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
