took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
