He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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