I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the day after is always just damage control
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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