I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
