I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This girl is more easily done than said...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
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