...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
