the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
