There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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